“There are some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm.”
– Willa Cather
Over the past several years, I’ve thought a lot about what to say during the immediate moments after a failed cardiac arrest or traumatic resuscitation. When the rush of adrenaline comes to a screeching halt and all that is left is a deafening silence, words often fail me. Ashamedly, I tend to look to my attending for guidance in these moments.
After a particularly busy Bellevue overnight, one that included a cricothyroidotomy, a thoracotomy, and multiple chest tubes and central lines, I walked home that morning reflecting over the past three years of training and how things have changed. When I matched three years ago, I had dreams of doing it all – reducing joints, intubating GI bleeds, reversing life threatening DKA. And residency has given me all of that.